The Principles of Personal Leadership: A Path to Transformational Leadership Principle #6: Be Curious Rather Than Judgmental

Inspired by Mark Sasscer’s “Accountability Now!”

One of the most pivotal choices a leader can make is how they respond when someone sees things differently. Do they lean in with curiosity or retreat into judgment? Do they make space for dialogue or shut it down with conclusions?

For me, Principle No. 6, Be Curious Rather Than Judgmental, is one of the most transformative on this leadership journey. It demands that we pause our assumptions, challenge our egos, and approach others with humility. It also demands that we lead in a way that reflects not only intelligence but also humanity.

Curiosity Builds Bridges

When we approach others with sincere interest rather than evaluation, we create psychological safety. We say: “You matter. Your story matters.” That’s how trust is born, not through authority, but through genuine connection.

Mark Sasscer puts it plainly:

“A leader who is egocentric and not humanistic believes that his/her separate reality is the correct and only reality.”

This mindset, when left unexamined, can quietly damage an organization. Leaders who believe their perspective is the only valid one often create environments where people hold back their opinions. Trust declines. Communication becomes cautious. Over time, the organization loses momentum.

Leaders who practice curiosity take a different approach. They stay aware of their own limitations and make room for perspectives that differ from their own. They view those differences as essential to better decision-making. Sasscer calls this "humanistic leadership," an approach that values individual experiences and uses them to strengthen the whole.

I’ve witnessed teams shift dynamics simply because one leader chose to be curious in a difficult conversation. It changed the temperature in the room. It opened space. And suddenly, progress became possible. That kind of leadership does more than build consensus. It builds cultures where people feel seen, valued, and safe enough to contribute fully.

Judgment Closes, Curiosity Opens

Mark Sasscer reminds us that “leadership is not something you do. It’s someone you are.” And who we are in the moments that challenge us, that’s what defines us. Judgment shuts the door. Curiosity opens it.

When we lead with curiosity, we model humility. We acknowledge we don’t know everything, and we don’t need to. That’s what creates the conditions for learning, for growth, and innovation.

What Humanistic Leadership Looks Like in Action

Sasscer offers a deceptively simple response that can reframe a moment of disagreement:

“When you encounter someone who sees an issue, problem or solution differently than you do, say in a sincere and non-threatening manner, ‘Tell me more.’”

That phrase “tell me more” reflects the essence of this principle. It signals openness and invites the other person into the conversation. It quiets defensiveness and activates curiosity. Most importantly, it gives the other person the psychological space to speak honestly.

I’ve seen this play out in boardrooms, hospital units, and one-on-one conversations. When a leader chooses to be curious in a tense moment, the tone of the room changes. People sit up straighter. They speak more freely. They begin to believe that their perspective matters, and when people feel heard, they contribute more, not because they have to, but because they want to.

Building a Curious Culture Starts at the Top

Organizational culture is shaped by the behaviors that leaders model. When curiosity is modeled consistently, it becomes a shared value. People begin asking better questions and engaging in more thoughtful dialogue. Below are a few practices leaders can adopt to embed this principle into their leadership:

• Begin meetings with a sincere question, not a directive.

• Pause before responding, especially in emotionally charged situations.

• Replace “Why did you do that?” with “Can you walk me through your thinking?”

• Invite perspectives from quieter team members.

• Reflect on what you heard before offering your opinion.

These behaviors build psychological safety. They create the kind of work environment where discretionary effort isn’t the exception, it’s the expectation.

Questions to Ponder

• How can I replace judgment with curiosity to create a more open and inclusive environment?

• How often do I pause to ask, “Tell me more,” instead of making assumptions?

• What changes can I make to show genuine interest in others’ views?

• What’s the impact of my behavior when I lead with curiosity? And when I don’t?

  
  

Closing Thoughts

This principle reaches beyond leadership. It reflects how we relate to others on a human level. Choosing curiosity means showing respect, even when views differ. It means approaching others with care instead of criticism.

When leaders make that choice consistently, the result is a more honest and connected culture, one where people feel valued and are more willing to contribute.

Acknowledgment

This series draws inspiration from Mark Sasscer’s Accountability Now! Living the Ten Principles of Personal Leadership. His work continues to influence my thinking and serve as a foundation for those of us committed to leading with clarity and intention.

As always, I welcome your reflections. Feel free to leave a comment or connect with me at scott@drscottwolf.com. I’d love to hear your perspective.